Facing Myself

I signed up today for a class to knit a sweater for myself. This took a lot of courage because I am overweight and the pattern may not be written for someone "as big as me". This is the ugly thought that goes through my head as I walk through the door of the shop to sign up. I want to turn and run. But I WANT to learn to knit sweaters and I want to learn to treat myself better than I have.

I talk to the shop employees about the class, the pattern, the yarn. They ask me who I am knitting it for (I read that as "you can't be knitting this for you..."). They have to "consult" with each other to figure out how much yarn I need. The look that passes between them is screaming to me that it's way past time to turn and run.

But I didn't. I signed up. I will do this.

When I got home I did some figuring and I don't have to make the largest size and I have more than enough yarn. Isn't is a LOVELY shade of purple?



Was I overly sensitive? Probably. But that is my fear speaking and one day at a time I'm facing those fears. I've let what I think others are thinking keep me from thinking better about myself.

Babe Ruth said "Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game"