Letting My Brain Go

My brain is starting to fire in some new ways. And I'm letting it wander along some new paths.

Over the last 4 years I've realized that my dreams and goals were all wrapped up with my kids and my marriage. When the kids left home and the marriage broke up, there were no dreams and goals anymore. I'm a great one for not taking care of myself, so it's not surprising to find out I didn't have any goals or dreams that were really MINE. About me. Things I wanted. They were all things that involved others.

Now, I find myself thinking about adventures and considering doing them! I wouldn't call them dreams or goals yet, but they could be heading that direction. For example, I've been thinking about the Oregon coast and the idea that driving out there, spending a week to 10 days in a cabin on the ocean is quite intriguing. I'm letting myself consider the possibilities. Would I go alone? What time of year? Would I drive or fly? Maybe if I drove I should make it longer and stop to do some visiting and sight-seeing along the way...and before I know it I'm thinking about planning a month-long road trip to the West Coast!

Another thing, I've been thinking about running. I'm quite surprised that I'm enjoying the running that I've been doing so far (training for the upcoming May 5K -- and it really is a very SMALL amount of running). But I'm thinking about running; my mind goes to biking and swimming and before I realize it, I'm thinking triathalon. (WHAT???? I don't think so!)

Where is the fear that paralyzed me for so long? Where is the black hole that swallowed my thoughts and left me feeling insecure and unable to complete thoughts that were the least bit outside my comfort zone. I didn't realize how constrained I was and how much I was missing.

I am so thankful that the ideas are starting, that my brain is reaching. I'm grateful that I'm not slamming the door shut on these thoughts. That I'm considering them and letting them grow and wander along a path that I don't know. Even if none of it ever happens, it's fun thinking about and considering some of these new things. And maybe that's the whole point. Before I set new goals and dreams, I need to recognize the fun in getting there.