Friendship

I have been thinking a lot today about friendship. The kind of friendship that develops when there is a long term connection and you truly understand your friend. How you can look at each other and understand each other. How you know when they need a little extra boost or just an ear to listen. How hearing their name just makes you smile and brings a host of memories. Thinking that with this person you can be yourself and not have to filter what you say. Knowing that you can go to them when you are feeling funky and they will listen.

I thought I had this kind of friendship and that it was complete. But I wonder. Now that the relationship has been cut off and I've had time to think about it, I wonder just how complete it was. I think a friendship misses something when you don't sharpen each other. When you don't hold each other accountable for the goods and the bads (in a very loving way). How does it happen over time that certain subjects aren't talked about anymore? What happens to the relationship when you state your opinion or feelings and they are taken as a judgment? Did it really turn into a relationship where we always had to agree with each other or stay on "bland" issues? Did time just make us take each other for granted only reacting to the past, but not pushing forward to the future?

What I see now is that these kinds of things stop growth. And growth has to take place in both parties. There has to be a willingness to share the hard things as well as the easy ones. To still have fun together, to trust each other, to accept that your friend has feelings and ideas that you don't understand and still love her.

I miss my friend, deeply. I am focusing today on the good things we had and did. Today I am grateful for the friendship, support, fun, memories and love we shared.