BEING Changed

I can let go and let God help me through THIS day.

I tend to think of everything as all-or-nothing.  When I look at changing myself and/or my behavior, I see it as doing it all at once.  "This" way now and *POOF* "that" way tomorrow.  No in between, no journey getting there, just being changed, now.

I know it doesn't happen that way and I don't ever expect others to live up to that standard.  I do expect it of myself.  And I don't know that I consciously put aside the journey part of change.  It is just there.  I consider change and I must be changed.

All day at work I am training staff.  I repeatedly tell them it won't happen overnight; the learning will take time, patience, and experience.  They need to be easy on themselves and slowly move forward.  I've been told I am kind to and help build self-esteem in trainees as I guide them through the learning process.

Why am I not kind to myself?  Why do I tear myself down when I don't instantly change?  Why don't I look at myself as a trainee?

The fact is I am learning and I am changing.  God is kind and patient and I am accepting that.  He daily shows me new things and lifts me when I fall.  He is with me, changing me, guiding me and I am slowly accepting that I am worth His time and effort.  It is a different place for me and I am learning to like it.  Some day it won't take effort to remember change is a journey and to accept each day as is.  One day I will embrace who I am in Christ and I will feel self-confident and strong.  I will accept that the journey and the daily challenges are valuable and I will look forward to being changed rather than expecting instant success.

I can let go and let God help me through THIS day.  And I can enjoy THIS day as a part of my journey.